Vikings (season one: a hipster gospel)

(series, 2013 – )


In a fjord, in the land of the midnight sun, some time quite recently, vikings kept it real. 

First, look at the blue eyed one. Yes, this hip guy.

This morning he got up and shaved the sides of his head then, after foraging for his locavore scandanavian breakfast, he spent three hours rubbing artisanal oils into his beard. 

He stands and looks out across the water and is a little too pleased with himself.  He is about to ride in to town on his bespoke single-speed boat for a craft beer.   He calls himself Ragnar Lothbrok. 

His parents called him Colin. 

The story in Vikings is driven (to start with) by the tension between Ragnar and the chief of the village. This is the chief.

His name is Haraldson.  He does not have a beard.  Or tattoos.  He just has a Marks&Spencer cloak and wants everyone to go on a conventional raid of rape and pillage out to the east. 

Ragnar isn’t going to put up with this lame normcore shit.  He wants to go west. Life is peaceful there. Full of open air. Where he can rape and pillage on his own terms and then go in quest of a single-origin organic chai latte which Haraldson and his mainstream henchmen wouldn’t appreciate on the same level as he does. 

Ragnar returns from his travels in his handcrafted wooden boat with an exotic and moody new friend who was in to Christianity way before it was even cool.  Ragnar’s fanging to just chill and share a few sagas with the boys over some crushed pear cider. But he gets concerned that his village is gentrifying too much. So he takes his non-industrial boutique battleaxe and kills everyone who doesn’t look like everything about their appearance is exactingly constructed to appear like they don’t care about their appearance. 

This is Lagertha.

Lagertha kills people because she is one magnificent bi-atch in a man’s world and then she puts on her suffrajettpack and takes to the skies to look for expensive vintage footwear. 

Made by Irish and Canadians wearing very skinny jeans, Vikings really is rather fun. In many ways it’s like Game of Thrones, but instead of dragon porn and rocking dialogue they have lots of historical FACTS.  History professors with trailing beards and wood-framed spectacles were no doubt given last editing rights to the script. There is everything you ever wanted to know about viking justice systems, funerals and digital detoxes right there in episode 6, series 1. 

The high 7 out of 10 is for season one. Seasons two to four are for sell-outs.

About Pecs

Pecs has no food, has no job and his pets' heads are falling off.
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