R.I.P.D.

Guest review by Tips.

2/10

R.I.P.D._PosterSo Ryan Reynolds has a Bacon number of 1.  I guess that’s something positive we can take from R.I.P.D.

In this lamentable scraping of the bottom of the comic book adaptation barrel, Ryan Reynolds plays a police officer who is killed in the line of duty by his crooked partner (Kevin Bacon).  In the after-life he finds himself working for the Rest In Peace Department – a sort of Men-in-Black-meets-Ghostbusters.  Their task is to rid the world of “deados” – embodied spirits who refuse to move on.

Hang on.  It’s written on the back cover: “Men in Black meets Ghostbusters”.  When the special edition remastered blu-ray comes out, it will probably read “Men in Black meets Ghostbusters, but not as good”.

If you’re like me, it sounds like exactly the sort of movie you’d check out from the library.  But be warned – you’re better off just getting the third season of Grand Designs and some warm lotion.  Again.

A list of grievances, if I may:

  • Whenever Jeff Bridges’ sexy avatar (he appears to ordinary people as a buxom woman) does something particularly sexy, the first bar of Marvin Gaye’s classic “Let’s get it on” plays.  Presumably there wasn’t enough money in the budget to employ someone to hold up a sign in the theatre to say “This is the gratuitous T&A bit”.

  • Also how are the rights to “Let’s get it on” that cheap?

  • Ryan Reynold plays Ryan Reynolds.  Nothing that could be mistaken for acting to be seen.  You could probably make a decent movie out of a supercut of Ryan Reynolds movies.  At times I felt like I was watching The Proposal again, which is a sort of PTSD.  That being said there is a strong case for remaking The Proposal with Jeff Bridges in the role of Sandra Bullock.  And Jeff Goldblum as Betty White.

  • The central plot device feels like someone just typed “McGuffin” into TVTropes.  Never mind in the climactic scene they actually activate the doomsday device and it doesn’t seem to really matter.  There was more dramatic tension in the scene in Amélie where she cracks the créme brulée.

  • Weird forced sexual chemistry between Bridges and Mary Louise-Parker’s character was meant to play funny, but in the end was just an uncomfortable reminder that your parents still bone.

So yeah.  Ryan Reynolds has a Bacon number of 1.

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